


Taking a break

by Draya09



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Language, Tags May Change, neil is not in the best frame of mind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-10 01:23:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12900966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draya09/pseuds/Draya09
Summary: Neil is having some problems and leaves.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well this is the first chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Getting out of bed seemed impossible that Thursday morning. The shrill ringing of his alarm was more grating than usual to his ears and he just wanted it to stop. The silence that was left after he mustered up the energy to turn it off wasn’t any better.

Neil couldn’t bring himself to care about missing his morning run or much of anything really. His sleep the last few night’s had been sporadic and any time he fell asleep it was broken up by nightmares. The other’s could tell something was off with Neil but after he had told them it was just stress from school they had relaxed some though they kept shooting him concerned look’s once in a while.

Andrew had not yet said anything and Neil didn’t know if he bought the excuse or was just not concerned but either way worked for him.  
He just had no energy lately for anything even practice seemed to drag on forever like it would never end. Neil knew that he couldn’t let it show that he seemed to care less and less each day, he would hate for the others to notice.

He didn’t know how long he layed in bed just staring blankly at the cracked celling while his mind just numbly ran through thought after thought. After what seemed like no time but had to have been close to an hour or so he heard another alarm go off. 

He knew it was Kevin’s and that it did no good with how deeply the man slept. Andrew on the other hand started to move around and sat up from his bunk. When after two minutes kevin hadn’t budged and showed no signs of getting up Andrew reached over and grabbed a history book that had been left on the floor before throwing it at kevin’s sleeping form.

'’What the fuck Andrew?’‘ Kevin sat up still mostly asleep but shot a grumpy glare towards the blonde man.

Andrew payed him no attention while gathering his things for the bathroom and giving Kevin the finger before leaving to get ready for the day.

Kevin just grumbled under his breath while moving around the room before suddenly stopping when he noticed that Neil was still in bed instead of already in the kitchen eating after a run like usual.

'’What are you doing? Why are you still in bed Neil, are you sick?’‘ Kevin immediately stepped closer and peered at Neil looking for signs of a fever or some other problem.

'’I’m fine kevin, I just need a break for today.’‘ Neil replied while never taking his eye’s off the ceiling.

Kevin jolted at how listless Neil’s voice had sounded before asking '’What’s wrong? Do you feel like you’re coming down with something? Are you warm or do you feel like throwing up?’‘

'’You don’t look very sick and we really can’t afford for anyone to miss practice or anything Neil. How bad is it?’‘

Neil just wanted kevin to shut up and go away, He really didn’t feel like interacting with anyone right now. He might as well pretend to be sick so the other’s would leave him alone.

'’It’s just a 24 hour thing i’m sure kevin, it’s best if i don’t infect anyone else and stay here for today.’‘

Kevin peered closer at Neil and saw that he did look off and it made sense for him to try and stay here to rest so it didn’t get any worse or get the rest of them ill.

‘’Yeah okay i’ll tell coach and the other’s, you get rest and stay hydrated. If you still feel bad later abby can check up on you to see if it’s serious.’‘

Kevin finally turned towards the kitchen to get breakfast while Andrew finished up in the bathroom. Neil listened to kevin moving around getting a bowl and pouring some cereal. He knew Andrew would be out soon from the bathroom and really didn’t feel like seeing how Andrew would react to Neil today.

Turning onto his side and facing the wall Neil decided it would just be better to act like he had fallen back asleep. He could hear the bathroom door open and Andrew’s footsteps as he headed to the small kitchen. The dorm wasn’t very noisy so Neil could hear kevin explaining what was going on to Andrew.

‘’Go ahead to the car i’ll be down in a minute.’‘

‘’Andrew we can’t be late for training what’s so important it can’t wait?’‘ Kevin’s voice held impatience as he was trying to hurry Andrew along.

‘’Do you want to have to walk kevin? Because i don’t feel a need to go to training anyway.’‘ Andrew just stared at kevin blank-faced while playing idly with a blade.

Kevin knew that Andrew would make him walk and skip practice if he got annoyed enough so with a sigh and a glance at the blade just turned and started down to the parking lot. ‘’Try to hurry, We don’t have long.’‘ He called out as the door shut behind him.

Andrew just turned and headed to the bedroom. When he got to the door he told himself it was just to make sure Neil wasn’t dying and kevin just hadn’t noticed Neil hiding it. He didn’t put it past Neil to hide the fact he had the flu from everyone if he could get away with it.

Pushing open the door quietly he looked in and saw that Neil was curled up facing the wall and his breathing was steady. He seemed like he was sleeping and as Andrew walked closer to get a better look nothing seemed like he was hiding being really ill. It was odd that Neil would be missing practice voluntarily. But Andrew couldn’t help but notice the last few day’s he’d seemed off. He had been a bit quieter and more withdrawn and tossing around in his sleep alot.  
Andrew remembered how last night Neil had looked pale and seemed like his mind was elsewhere. Andrew hated the fact that seeing neil like this affected him in some way. ''I hate him'' Andrew reminded himself, he’s just feeling a little ill with some twenty four hour bug and will be back to normal tomorrow.

 

With one last look at Neil’s curled up form in the bed he left to go and drive to the gym for morning training.

The sound of the door shutting behind Andrew was a relief to Neil who just wanted to be left alone and not deal with anyone for awhile. He turned over and glanced over the room at kevin’s hastily made up bed and the stuff strewn all over the floor. He could make out some dirty laundry and saw a few exy balls along with school books from kevin’s last late night panic over a test.

The sight of everything, all the books and clothes just made Neil feel trapped. Like it was all smothering him he felt like he was drowning and needed to escape.

He hurried to get out of bed and throw on the first pair of pant’s he could find and grabbed a nearby shirt before finding his trainers. He went to his small closet and reached for the small bag he kept for emergencies before heading to the door.

He saw his cell phone sitting in the lounge on the charger and quickly grabbed it. Staring down at the blank screen he decided to bring it along just in case.

Walking over to the door and stopping in front of it he reached for his key’s only to stop and quickly take the dorm key off the key ring. He looked at the rest of the key’s before heading back and carefully placing the key ring on Andrew’s bed. He looked once more at the keys resting on Andrews pillow before heading back and walking out the door. 

Turning he locked the dorm room door and headed for the stairs. Walking out of the tower he decided to head across campus and make his way to the town. He’d figure the next step out there.

As he walked down the hill he let himself look back to the tower once more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heres chapter two hope you enjoy!

Neil made his way to town and started to just walk around, passing small diners and movie theaters, flashes of times spent there with the others running through his mind. The faces of his teammates in his mind just confused him more. Matt laughing and telling him cheesy jokes that made Dan groan and throw fries at him. Nicky and Allison making catty remarks about passerby’s causing Renee to raise her eyebrows until they apologized.

He needed to leave. This wasn’t right, he was never meant for a life like this. He was meant for a life of hiding in shadows and running for his life. He was meant for a unmarked grave or turning to ash in the wind. Not a life full of friends and happiness,not a life with someone like Andrew.

These people who cared about him were meant for so much more and Neil knew they all deserved so much better than having to deal with him. They all had issues sure but they grew and dealt with them or were in the process of it and he was so glad for that. But him he was still a bundle of issues, So many alias mixed together to make a patchwork person.

All that time constantly changing himself at any moment had taken a toll. He didn’t know how to stay Neil Josten and with his official paperwork and I.D. He was lost. 

Nathaniel,Abram,Chris,Stefan and Neil plus all the countless other’s were all different people. They were from different states and different countries, some spoke English some French or German or Spanish. They had favorite books,colours and sweets. Some had fake older siblings away in school or dead fathers or lived with aunts. Mary had made Neil become these people, To be able to answer any question at any moment.

This was the longest he’d had the same name since he had been Nathaniel. He had no fake answer’s to give or life to fake. The team wanted to know what he actually enjoyed not a back-story made up and crafted to bring as little attention as possible.

Neil had no answers to give. He didn’t know what his favorite type of music was or what hobbies he had. He had no idea how to be a person instead of a character. 

Making his way to the bus stop Neil saw that a bus was leaving for Columbia in a hour. He wanted to go to the house he had so many memories in but knew when the other’s saw him gone they would check there. As long as they didn’t notice for a few more hours he had time as long as he left right after. He decided to get a ticket and decide later.

He had an hour to decide to get on the bus or not so went back to a small dinner he last went to with Allison. They had went to lunch there after Allison had dragged him to town to get some more '’stylish’‘ clothing. She had not taken no for an answer and Neil had fun to his surprise. Allison’s honesty and snappy wit had entertained him and distracted him from dealing with strangers.

While they had been at lunch they had talked about the rest of the team and Allison had tried to get info about Andrew to cheat at bet’s that were ongoing. She had gotten a text as they were finishing up and had read it with a uncharacteristically soft smile. Looking up and catching his expression she explained that it was Renee wanting to know if they were having a good time. After paying the bill they got their bag’s and left for the tower.

That had been two weeks ago. That night Neil and Andrew had went up to the roof after night practice with kevin.

Sitting on the ledge they stayed quiet just enjoying fresh air and the company. Andrew sat there quiet until his cigarette had burnt out before he turned to face Neil.

‘’How was shopping?’‘

‘’It was better than i thought it would be.’‘ Neil confessed. ‘’She picked out alot of new clothes and then we went for lunch.’‘

‘’Sounds thrilling.’‘ Andrew’s deadpan delivery made Neil smile. 

‘’How was sparing with Renee? How long did it take her to beat you this time?’‘ Neil couldn’t help but tease Andrew a little and he was rewarded with a glare and Andrew’s curt ‘’i will push you over.’‘

‘’I’ll still drag you with me’‘ By then it was automatic to respond with the same answer. Andrew just rolled his eye's but Neil saw the way the corner's of his eye's had turned up slightly.

That day had been one of the last good day’s Neil had before everything had started feeling off. Thinking back on it felt bittersweet. He hoped that the others didn’t worry too much when they found out Neil wasn’t there.

He looked up startled as someone cleared their throat only to see the waitress standing there staring at him. She was holding her note pad and looked like she had been standing there trying to get his attention for a while.

‘’Hello welcome to Ria’s would you like to hear the specials for today?’‘

Neil quickly looked over the menu '’No thank you, can i get a black coffee and the toast with jam?’‘ He wasn’t very hungry and that was the first thing that caught his eye and was cheap.

'’Sure thing is that all?’‘ The waitress asked him sounding bored. '’Yeah that’s all’‘ Neil watched as she walked away and went back to staring out the window until she brought over his coffee and a plate of toast with some jam packets.

She just put them down quietly as if she could tell he wasn’t in the mood for conversation. Neil told her thank you before she walked away and was glad that she didn’t seem to notice his scars. It wasn't often he found others who didn't stare at the scar's covering his face and arm's.

Neil took a sip of his coffee before half heartedly nibbling on a piece of toast. He kept finding himself staring at the clock ticking away on the wall. Only twenty minutes had passed and he had another forty to wait. He slowly drank the coffee but still ended up getting another refill from the waitress.

After another twenty minutes and two cups of coffee he got the check and payed making sure to leave a decent sized tip to thank the waitress for not staring or trying to make conversation. He had decided that he should have time and couldn't stop himself from going to Columbia.

Standing up he walked out and headed back to the bus stop to wait just incase it got there early. The bus stop was still empty and so he sat on the bench and tried to plan what to do. His mind still felt like it was all fuzzy even after all the caffeine and it made it hard to think. He didn’t know what to do.

The others would be done with morning training by now and getting ready for class. Andrew had to go to class right after training and Kevin should head to the stadium to work on drills after training as usual before he had to get ready for class. Neil should still have some time before anyone noticed as long as none of the others tried to check up on him.

Kevin would probably keep the other’s away so no one else could catch Neil’s ‘’sickness.’‘ Neil was counting on kevin’s fears of everyone getting ill and annoying everyone into agreeing to stay away. It just had to work for a few hours anyway before they would notice him gone after they came back from class, but those hour's counted.

As it got closer to the time for the bus others started to arrive and wait. Neil stood up and made room so the older couple walking over had space to sit on the bench. They both shot him kind smiles and thanked him before sitting. Neil moved a little bit away from the crowd of others and tried to ignore the eyes he could feel on his face.

As the time for the bus to arrive came and passed he started feeling jittery and impatient. After five minutes he could see the bus pulling up and saw everyone getting stuff together and standing. Looking back towards campus and where the tower was he stepped onto the bus. Walking down the isle he saw that near the back of the bus there was two empty seats one in front of the other. 

Walking over he sat in the seat and looked back to the other empty seat behind him. As the bus pulled away he had a flash of the teams bus and Andrew sitting in the row behind him. The rest of the team joking and sleeping and laughing. Flashes of quiet conversations held over seats and glances of Andrew sleeping after hard games.

As the bus jolted over a pothole he snapped out of it and looked around. Instead of the foxes he just saw a bunch of strangers on their phones,reading newspapers and sitting quietly. He turned to stare out at the passing scenery and tried to ignore the feelings inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well i finally got the second chapter written tell me how you thought it went.I'm not sure how good it is and im trying to make it all make sense but it's my first chaptered work. I think next chapter might be mostly from andrew's point of view.Leave any comments and suggestion's.


	3. Andrew's thought's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long.Hope you enjoy!

Back at the gym Andrew was getting fed up with the day already. When the other’s had noticed Neil wasn’t there they had all started badgering him and Kevin with questions.

‘’How bad is he? Does Abby need to go to the dorm and check on him?’‘ Coach asked Kevin,looking concerned likely because he knew how much it took to keep Neil from Exy.

‘’He has seemed off the last week or so, he always look’s so tired.’‘ Matt spoke up while sharing a look with Dan.

Kevin explained to the other’s that Neil had explained it was probably a twenty four hour bug and he didn’t want to infect anyone else and make them have to miss practice or a game.

‘’Of course he’s worried about that.’‘ Nicky sounded amused at Neil’s thought process. ‘’Well hopefully he’s better soon or he might explode from lack of Exy.’‘

Kevin just rolled his eye’s’‘At least he seem’s to care.The rest of you should be half as dedicated as him.’‘

‘’Not everyone want’s to spend all night doing extra practice Kevin, Some of us have actual live’s outside Exy.’‘ Kevin looked slightly offended at Aaron’s remark before starting to say something. Coach likely knew that whatever Kevin said would cause an argument and stepped in. 

‘’All right shut up and get to training this isn’t the time or place to gossip.’‘ Coach got them all back to working out before heading to his office.

The other’s all went towards different areas to start the workout’s. Most of them had headphone’s in to listen to music and were focusing on what the were doing. As the talking died down to small murmurs from Allison and Renee talking as they spotted each other Andrew let his mind drift.

Andrew kept glancing up to where Neil would usually be on the treadmill running before forcing himself to stop and look away. He knew if the other’s noticed they would comment on it. Only Renee seemed to and she just shot him a small smile before turning back to Allison.

He kept seeing Neil and how small he had looked curled up in bed this morning. The last few day’s the bag’s under his eyes had gotten darker and he had withdrawn more and more from everyone. Andrew had decided to let whatever was wrong with Neil run it’s course and not mention it unless Neil brought it up first. 

Training seemed to drag on longer than ever without Neil there to distract Andrew.

After training was finally over for the morning everyone headed for class or back to the tower except for Kevin who went to the court to get some practice in before his morning classes started.

Andrew headed for his first class and only just made it before the door’s shut and class started. The whole class period he stayed distracted and kept feeling like something was wrong. When he was called on by the professor only his memories of reading the book a few days ago allowed him to answer the question correctly. The two hour’s passed slowly and he was barely able to make himself gather all his things before rushing out of the room.

He rather quickly decided to skip his next class and head back to the room. He felt the pressing urge to check on Neil and as much as he tried to push it down he gave in eventually. He stopped in to pick up some sweet’s for himself and couldn’t resists grabbing Neil some light sandwiches.

Getting back to the tower he got the elevator to their floor and got his key’s out to unlock the door. Stepping in the room he saw it was dark and silent. With a sinking feeling in his chest he sat the food down in the small kitchen before slowly making his way to the bedroom.

The door was closed and Andrew heard nothing coming from behind the door. The sinking feeling got worse as he opened the door as quietly as possible and stepped in. 

Looking around the empty room Andrew went over to look closer at the bunks.The top was empty as was the bottom nothing there but a set of very familiar key’s laying on his pillow. It felt like ice had been injected into his veins at the sight of the key’s he had last seen Neil messing around with last night sitting there. 

Grabbing the key’s he shoved them into his pocket before looking around for anything else out of place. With his cell phone in one hand already dialing Neil he went back towards the main area of the dorm. There was no answer on the phone.

There was no sign of anything being broken into or missing an Andrew immediately went back and to the small closet’s. He pushed back the clothes hanging there and peered into the very back trying to see the bag he knew was kept there for emergencies. When the whole closet was looked over he knew that the missing bag meant that Neil left on his own and hadn’t been taken.

He sat there for a minute trying to force himself to unfreeze and get up. 

He couldn’t force the anger down and stop the images of Neil flashing through his mind. Neil with his plain brown hair and contacts and unmarked face, With fiery auburn hair and bright blue eye’s and a inky black tattoo. Quiet whispers of ‘’Thank you, you were amazing’‘ of tired eye’s looking up at him and a face covered in burns and cuts.

Standing up abruptly he made himself pick up his cell phone and dialed Neil again this time leaving a message.

'’Neil you’re supposed to answer your phone. Where are you? Call me back soon so i know you’re just forgot to charge the phone again and your not being an idiot.’‘

Hanging up he called coach hoping Neil had felt better and headed there.When coach picked up with a curt '’Minyard what do you want now? How bad is whatever mess one of you got into this time?’‘  
Andrew knew that Neil wasn’t there.

‘’Neil’s gone.’‘ Andrew spoke the word’s with little feeling and barely registered coach’s panicked '’WHAT!!’‘ The noise just irritated Andrew and he spoke before coach started asking more questions Andrew didn’t have the answer’s to. 

'’I’m in the dorm and he’s not here,his phone’s off or dead and his key’s were sitting on my bed.’‘ 

‘’Could he just be somewhere else or is it his fathers men wanting revenge?’‘ Coach seemed worried and Andrew could hear him pacing in the background. ‘’ I’ll call the other’s and tell them to lookout for him okay? You go see if you can find him before any trouble can.’‘ Coach hung up after that to call Dan and inform her and the other’s.

Andrew left the dorm and headed up the stairs to the roof to check even with knowing that he was long gone from the tower. Sure enough the roof was empty of anybody else and when Andrew walked to the edge it seemed higher and colder then it had in a while. He quickly turned around and left to go look around campus. 

By the time he was on the ground floor of the tower his phone rang. The small flame of hope he felt as he hurried up to answer quickly went away when he heard Nicky’s voice coming through the speaker instead of the softer more melodic voice of his junkie.

‘’Andrew is it true, is Neil gone? What could have happened to him, what if he’s hurt?’‘ 

‘’Yes he’s gone, I checked the dorm and the tower, his cell phone’s gone and he left his key’s.’‘ Andrew knew that Nicky would tell the others what he said so he wouldn’t have to.

‘’So he left then? If his key’s were still there he must have decided to leave, he alway’s keeps his keys with him. Why would he leave?’‘ Nicky’s voice was shaking, hearing him say that Neil must have decided to leave made Andrew hang up the phone so he didn’t have to hear anymore of his cousin’s rambling.

Driving around campus he kept looking for a glimpse of someone with sun glinting off red hair and ignored all the text’s and call’s on his phone. After thirty minutes of looking around and finding nothing he read the text’s to see if the other’s had any luck. All the texts said no one could find him and were plans of where to look and who was where.

Andrew pressed the speed dial button for Renee.

'’Hello Andrew, have you found him?’‘ Renee’s voice sounded mostly calm and Andrew only picked up the slightest hint of worry in her tone because he knew to listen for it.

'’No, you and the other’s?’‘ 

‘’We're all looking. Dan and matt went to look around town, Kevin and Nicky around the court and me, Allison, Katelyn and Aaron on campus.’‘

When Andrew stayed quiet Renee added a soft ‘’We’ll find him Andrew.’‘ Neither of them brought up the fact that if he wanted to he could disappear anywhere and be lost to them for good. That he had been raised to run and hide for half his life and that running was in his blood.

After a few minutes of sitting in quiet Renee asked where he was and offered to join him looking around. Andrew thought back to the keys and declined before hanging up and turning the car towards Columbia. Maybe, just maybe Neil had went there first and he still had time to catch him.

Andrew pressed down on the gas at that thought and speed down the interstate towards the house. Nothing but thoughts of a troubled runaway disappearing for good clouding his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing andrew's pov is harder then i thought tell me how you think i did and what i should work on. Thanks for reading and commenting It makes my day.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first multi chapter fic and im not quite sure how well im doing so far, any comments are welcome. I hope you enjoyed chapter one.Let me know if it seems interesting enough for a chapter two.


End file.
